It is while creating through an unconstrained stream of consciousness that I feel most fulfilled and free.
My process is a practice of self-awareness. By using art to further explore developing thoughts and feelings, I strive to release internal emotional conflict in order to further discover myself and the world around me. Seeing the impact creating art has had on me, I’m driven to inspire those who seek to explore themselves through their own form of creative expression.
I believe that by audaciously and genuinely following our passion, we given an opportunity to experience a long-lasting sense of fulfillment: fulfillment that is brought through expressing what is already inside us, rather than consuming more of what is not us.
Like many others, I was fortunate to explore and experience much of life using our imagination and creativity as kids. For me, drawing was my way to explore the world within and around me and express that world in my own, individual way. Every day, in both actuality and fantasy, brought new adventures that was excitedly translated through sporadic lines and scribbles. Even as a naive child, drawing gave me and many alike an outlet to discover something new about ourselves by reflecting and illustrating the experiences we had.
Unfortunately, I was also affected by the priorities that were emphasized as we grew older, that encouraged a common consumer mindset where the further development of our individual imagination had no place. As I grew older, I became increasingly distracted by the stressful demands inherent in everyday life and, eventually, I completely lost the urge to further explore the world of art and imagination. Instead, my priorities were replaced with mindlessly wandering through the fabricated hurdles of a consumer-driven educational system, in the hope that by succeeding in school, I would find further success in life.
This was not the case, however. The more years I spent focusing my efforts on categorical subjects I wasn’t passionate about, the sooner I came to realize I would never find fulfillment in something I had no interest in doing in the first place. I had spent years blindly following an agenda that defined success as the ability to consume more, rather than nurturing and developing what was in me already. After finally recognizing I’d neglected to explore my creativity and individuality, I was left with an overwhelming feeling of emptiness.
As this emptiness grew, it eventually led me to unhealthy relationships, heavy drinking and drug use, and numerous other problems. To cope with these issues, I relied on distracting myself with activities that brought only short term happiness but left me with even more negative feelings I wasn’t able to manage, much less acknowledge I had at all. My self-destructive behavior and mindset eventually resulted in a diagnosis of multiple mental illnesses and heavy medication and psychotherapy soon proceeded. I now had no direction, purpose, or passion in life and completely lacked all awareness of who I was and how to process what I was feeling.
With statistics on drug use, mental illness, and suicide steadily increasing over recent years, I knew that I was not alone in the problems I was facing. The emptiness I felt was shared by millions struggling to find balance in their lives. I later came to realize that this sense of emptiness was truly a blessing in disguise as it forced me to question the deeply-rooted ideologies and priorities that had influenced me since I was young and still affected me till this day. Just as people lose their imagination at different times, people can re-discover it at different times too. Thankfully, I had found mine again when I needed it most.
Through drawing, painting, and other forms of artistic expression and mind-body practices, I began to heal and discover who I was and how to process my feelings. My pain turned into my art and my art became my passion. My work, however, embodies much more than just pain. On the other side of my pain was an entire world of creativity I had left behind. I believe that when the pure imagination of childhood and the arduous experiences of adulthood are both accepted and expressed honestly, anyone can experience a feeling of purpose and fulfillment in their lives.
Through my work representing my own ongoing journey, I’m hoping to inspire others to act on their potential despite their fears and to push forward despite their pain. Suffering is one of the greatest sources of knowledge and often the first step toward inner peace if it’s not fought against but learned from. There is no limit to the potential each of us has, it is only up to an individual to act upon this potential. It’s my passion to explore myself through painting while providing inspiration to those who are searching for the motivation to discover and act upon their own potential. Only through great internal change, can we begin to change the world externally.